epiicer: If you say “old sport” three times in front of your mirror Gatsby will appear and awkwardly hit on your wife
necrophilic: when ur being dramatic for humorous effect and someone’s like ‘wow calm down’
n3ck-deep: If you want to eat pizza and watch Lord of the Rings or Star Wars all day with the occasional sexual break, then you are marriage material.
But I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both.– Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye, “An Origin Story” (via larmoyante)
me 50% of the time: why did i shave my legs for this shit
me the other 50%: i should of shaved my legs
I like clingy girls
thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg: I like when they text me good morning or call me. Check up on me all the time. I actually don’t find that annoying. I don’t get how you couldn’t like that. Someone constantly wanting to talk to you and show you affection. I love it when someone does that. That keeps me happy and it will keep me from leaving. It shows that you are thinking about me.